Half the man I used to be

Do you know that this year all muslim will be celebrating 2 Awal Muharram(Islamic New Year)? Yes, the first one will be on January 10th and the second one fall on December 29th. When talking about new year, everybody will start asking others on new year's resolution(if any). For me, every year(modern or islamic) I have set my new year's resolution, and it is often influenced from what had happened in the year before that.

I know i need to change, but in what area? A few weeks back, with the career-related issues, I somehow realize that I already changed. I'm too much focused on the outside, but unaware that the inside of me almost dried out. Yes, I'm off balanced, I'm lack of spiritual filling. My soul is hunger for knowledge.

I remembered that the most harmonious time in my life will be when I am 17 years old. Back then, commonly both my mind and my soul would be fed, resulting in "ketenangan jiwa and kemanisan iman". That's the catch I'm hoping for this year. Balance out the need for life without forgetting the after-life. First thing first, get rid of black dots in my heart. Then feed it with knowledge regularly. Perkenankanlah permintaan hambaMu ini ya Allah.

"Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pesongkan hati kami, sesudah Engkau memberi petunjuk kepada kami, dan kurniakan kepada kami limpah rahmat dari sisiMu, sesungguhnya Engkaulah Tuhan yang melimpah-limpah pemberiannya. Amin."